If you're just beginning to learn meditation, either in a guided meditation group or on your own, you work for five or ten minutes each sitting; try to sit daily at the same time, morning or evening, whichever suits you right. You allow the daily five to ten minutes to expand to fifteen or twenty minutes as the weeks follow, but you certainly don't try and stress the pace.
Meditation isn't about tightening the teeth in tenacity. It's about sitting quietly with yourself, and while it requires its own kind of discipline this has less to do with force than with compliant and letting go.
When the certain thoughts or feelings come up, you allow them to pass in and out of awareness like clouds reflected in water. You don't try and push them out, but leave them to pass on their own pace. Irrespective of how 'important' the thinking seem to be or how pressing or demanding the emotions, you don't hang on to them or allow one thought or emotion to start another and another till you are down on an inattentiveness track that takes you further and further from the simple point of the in-breath and the out-breath.
If, nevertheless, you do get carried away, gently but definitely go back to your breathing the time you realize this has cropped up. Avoid being irritated with yourself or convincing yourself you'll never pick up how to meditate. Your wandering mind is simply demonstrating to you just how much you need to train your meditation techniques. It is assisting you, prompting you, showing you how less control you have over your own thoughts. The right response is gratitude, appreciation towards that part of your mind that has become aware you are wool-gathering and that has prompted you to return to your point of focus.
I cannot overstress how important this attitude of gratitude is. If you curse yourself each time you become aware you are lost in thought, you will not only be awakening the unwelcome emotion of self-disgust, you will be taming your mind not to remind you when it is wandering later on. You are in effect punishing it every time for reminding you, and certainly it doesn't like being punished. So it will remind you less and less often, and you will find attention becomes harder and harder. In response to the frustration that this brings, your mind will then start whispering persuasively to you that meditation is a total waste of effort, and that you would be well suggested to find something greater to do with your time.
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